Today’s article is a guest post from Patty at Therealchattypatty.com. Enjoy.

Who can forget the episode of Beverly Hills 90210 when Brenda went away to Paris leaving boyfriend Dylan McKay behind with bff Kelly Taylor? While wining and dining with the French, Dylan and Kelly were indulging in their own kind of French kissing. Unbeknownst to Brenda, their admiration continued until the relationship ended. Brenda was fine with moving on but when she discovered that Dylan’s new love interest was with Kelly, she was enraged, and felt betrayed.

Was Brenda’s reaction justified or was it uncalled for knowing, that he was free to date whomever he chooses? Can you imagine being in a committed relationship for years only to break up and later find out that your significant other wants to date your friend? I can, because it happened to me.

After years of dating this guy, he decided that he wanted my friend/roommate. The two parties secretly met one another on the down low and when the affair was revealed, my relationship with my ex and best friend was never the same. I have no issues if someone I had a sexual relationship without the commitment, decides that he wants to be with someone that I am friends with, but once a relationship is established and past longer than 6 months, then I would be completely against the union.

Why you ask? First off, most of these types of relationships are formed in secrecy. Both parties feel a tremendous amount of guilt and know that once their relationship is revealed, having support will be highly unlikely. Maybe if people were more honest from the beginning, than we would have time to marinate on the situation at hand and somehow come to a compromise. The lies and the deceit are what I can’t get past. If they both admitted that they did have an attraction to one another and wanted to pursue it further then maybe I would have dealt with the situation differently.

Why her? Insecurities begin to play with you emotionally as you begin to backtrack what you did wrong in your relationship and what your friend is doing right. Is he/she prettier than me? If only I were a blonde or brunette? Maybe I wasn’t smart enough? You begin to question yourself and blame yourself as to why the relationship, ended. Let’s face it, in my case, my bff and I was living under the same roof. Could you imagine coming home from a long day at work only to walk in on the two of them cuddling on the living room couch? If your relationship ended in a dramatic way, the last thing you would want to see is his face.

Finally, if you think that your friendship with your bff will ever be the same, than think again. Because my friend chose to hide her relationship with my ex, the trust was gone along with the special bond we shared over the years. I no longer felt that I could trust her with any of my male companions. In the back of my mind, I always felt that she would want him too. Between the deceit, loss of trust, and the thought of seeing your ex canoodling with your bff, it’s enough to make you never agree to such a union.

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