We all strive to do well for ourselves. We attend college, attempt to get great paying jobs, or start our own successful businesses. In typical traditional families, the man always made more than the woman and this was perfectly fine.
The man typically:
- pays all the bills
- takes care of the vehicles
- supports the family overall
Some wives work and don’t make as much as the husbands if they work at all. Sometimes these women sacrifice for the family and give up a good chunk of income. Should wives be compensated by their husbands for taking a back seat? Let your thoughts be heard.
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Honestly, why? If he pays all the bills and provides food for the family and takes the family on an occasional outing, why should she be given allowance?
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@bigal:
Nothing BIgAl? I know you have something bottled up in there that you want to say…
LargeAl
The female contingent of surveymagnet may not agree with you.
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I await response from your female contingint. Women have every right to earn equal income. An allowance is something for children to help promote and foster fiscal responsibility. A grown women supporting her home in ways other than income should be able to buy necessary goods for the house. Other expenses should be discussed and agreed upon with her spouse.
If I was married I wouldn’t want an allowance from my husband. Yes, I believe it is a man’s responsibility to take care of his wife even if she does work……it’s in the( WORD) you know..the BIBLE. In the biblical sense a woman is suppose to be taken care of (meaning provided with food and shelter )by her HUSBAND anyway. But as far as an allowance for a working woman, no I don’t think a husband should have to give his wife an allowance. Although, if he want to give her something every now and then, he can. But if she is a house wife, then yes she needs an allowance. I’m just saying.
Being a housewife I do receive what you all are referring to as an “allowance”. I think I deserve it and he does too. It’s a job. A tough one at that. As a matter of fact most of the time I see & distribute the dividends before he does. I do believe it is a husband’s responsibility to provide for his household, moreso financially than anything else. We, as women & wives are designed to be HELPMATES. And as Shae pointed out, according to the WORD, working outside the home is not required; however, I believe in both spouses do what’s necessary to carry the household. Personally I don’t want my better half to carry the load alone so If I were able, I’d work as well. unfortunately, not all women feel the same. Two incomes has always been better than one. Surplus has never hurt anyone.
@Shae:
If the man is paying all the bills and bringing all the food to the table, what does the woman need money for?
@Kandi:
Yes, two incomes are better than one, but no one has given me a legitimate reason as to why a woman sitting at home with no bills and all household bills paid in full needs/wants allowance.
@Kandi:
I can do without a helpmate. It is NOT the husband’s responsibility to financially take care of his wife. If the wife is an adult, she should take care of herself.
Get it right…working outside the home is required
@Shae:
I aint saying but I’m saying.
@Derrick: Did you really say that a woman doesn’t need money?
@Marcus: Your beliefs are not my beliefs…You ask for my opinion and I gave it to you and I am still just saying.
@Derrick: She need money for maintenance….
@Derrick:
Derrick I can only speak for myself. Having an allowance is not a requirement nor a necessity …it’s a gift …sign of appreciation. Most people I know require food, CLOTHING, and shelter. yes the hubby will pay all the necessary bills (I.e.mortgage, car note, utilities, etc) but will he also purchase clothing? If so desired the funds can be used for that…not to mention the fact no man wants to look at a raggedy looking woman …working or not we desire to be eyecandy too. But again, every household/ marriage/ relationship is different. The two must do what’s best for their environment.
@Kandi: AMEN!!!!!!!! You have said a mouth full.
@Marcus:
Marcus, Marcus, Marcus!! I’m curious…what is YOUR definition of a wife? And please tell me why you feel it’s not a husband’s job to take care of his wife? Remember this for yourself & any man you know: a MAN’s declaration for a woman ( wife) is to PROVIDE, PROTECT, and PROFESS … Those 3 are compatible to the Holy Trinity my friend …NO marriage will survive or prosper without it. Guarantee you that. Furthermore, when you come across the ONE, if you’ve not done so already, you will desire to do these things for her …required, requested or not. But if she is the ONE trust & believe it will be required.
Hope I got it right this time. By the way …you’ve been married how long?????
I am with Shae and Kandi on this one. It is not called an allowance. When we got married…we became one. What is his is mine, and mine is his.
@Kandi:
My definition of a wife is simple. My wife will be a female partner in the household. It’s not my job to take care of another adult, because that person is an adult. I’m not getting a free ride, so neither will she. Which means she’ll do some PROVIDING and PROFESSING of her own (I’m a big guy so I can handle the protecting).
My girlfriend has told me she doesn’t want a man to provide for her (she can do it just fine herself). That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it.
I’m not married at all, but I really don’t see the relevance. Marriage is nothing more than a legal form of commitment. Ceremonies, preachers, and legal documents have nothing to do with a relationship.
With all these Bible references lets not forget a key one. Isn’t the wife supposed to OBEY the husband?
Are Nita, Kandi, and Shae obeying their husband’s commands?
@Nita:
The question that no one has answered is “What does she need money for if the man is the sole provider?” That alone let’s me know that this is just some womanly attempt at unnecessary spending.
@Shae:
What is she trying to maintain? her own version of an unemployment check, a piggy bank, getting-ready-to-leave fund, what?
@Kandi:
So your first reason is for clothes? I’m sure he can just swing through the middle aisles at wal-mart and grab you some eye candy. Not to mention, sometimes nothing worn is considered eye candy.
@ALL:
LOL
Marcus 2
Kandi, Nita, Shae .8
@Marcus:
Your response tells me all I need to know. You don’t want a wife…you want a roommate – If that arrangement works for you and yours – cool beans. You & your partner have an understanding already & that’s good. Again, as we all know this site is designed for our opinions.
@Derrick:
It’s amazing to me the mindset our generation concerning this topic. It seems that you men do not desire a marriage but a situation of convenience. It’s all about money & control I see. That’s certainly not what marriage is about. Unbelievable.
@Kandi:
It’s not a situation of convenience, but more so one of responsibility. While I do agree that a full fledged housewife deserves an “allowance” or at least access to take care of herself. I don’t think that she should be “paid” for her services cause her husband will still come home after work and do things with the kids. It’s also not about control, and as they say “MONEY IS POWER” thus if you have no money you might be powerless….
I do so desire a marriage. However, my preference is to also have a wife that works so that we not only support our household, but also rely on one another. I care not to control anyone. If my wife needs controlling, she will not be my wife.
But, if I were married, and my income was providing for the family, then I do not understand why my wife would need leisure money. I would send her on occasional salon trips or girl’s day out because those are sometimes necessary, but why would a woman sitting at home need money to save at home. I guess she also needs to latest Benz while she is sitting at home and a nice hair-do to impress the TV at home, huh?
@ Emcee:
Well versed. Touche’ …
@ Derrick:
Your position is understood. Treating her to an occasional outting or what have you is very considerate. But if she chooses to take those same funds alotted for that and decides to ” save” it instead, would you be upset?
@Derrick: A nice hair do is to keep up the look that drew you to her besides the love. You know you don’t want a raggedy looking housewife greeting you when you get home. You are a man of high maintanence …you know what it takes to keep yourself up. As far as the “ready- to- leave fund” ….you sound as if you have some trust issues.
@Kandi:
Deep breathe…LOL…. I can’t believe that you think a responsible woman is a roommate. I want a full fledged adult living with me. If I have to support you forever then I won’t respect you. Just like if you supported me forever you wouldn’t respect me.
@Shae:
What in the blue blazes does a salon trip have to do with a pretty wife greeting you at home? Does she only look enticing after she gets her hair done?
@Kandi:
What would she be saving MY money for?
@Shae:
What does my maintenance have to do with her hair-do. I work everyday. I afford my maintenance.
Its up to THAT husband and wife. There is no “blanket” answer!
@Javonne:
Here is the blanket. Make some money or you are going to get treated like less than an adult. It my not start today or tomorrow but at some point you’re going to be swimming in the kiddie pool.
Based on these answers from the men, it’s in the best interest of the “wife” to have their own jobs and money so that they don’t need to ask or want money from their husbands. I do believe that being a housewife/mother is on the high list of strenuous and demanding jobs….some wives/ mothers do more than most CEO’s and women should be paid for that. But I guess it is really up to the individual couple and what they like. I would hope that this would be understood prior to entering the union. I think some men would feel as if they control the woman if he is giving her money so it’s best that she makes/has her own.
@Latoya:
Finally, someone gets it. You are a genius
.
@Latoya:
More strenuous than a CEO? While I agree that a housewife may work hard, CEO comparisons will not be tolerated.
But I do like your statements.
@Emcee: The comparison may have been a tad extreme…but if you think about it, some CEO’s sit in their offices and collect a huge check….what work do they do other than delegate….how stressful is that?
@Marcus: It’s just a personal preference for me. If my man wants to give me money, that’s fine. But I don’t want to be in the position where I have to ask him or depend on him for it.
Question is how many women share this same mentality as Latoya? You’re the first to seemingly want your own money and only take was given.
@Derrick: My Granddaddy put it in my head early on not to depend on a man for anything….I mean, to be blunt, you don’t even have to depend on him for sex. I’ve seen it one too many times…when they are sole providers and handing out a lot of cash and you are depending on that, they feel like they can tell you what to do. I haven’t been in that situation, and never plan to.
@Latoya:
Latoya +2,000,000,0000