On September 6 we posted a poll asking our readers a simple question: How Soon is Too Soon for Sexual Intercourse?
That article sparked a great deal of conversation from our readers. We also caught the attention of Zette from DearZette.com. Zette describes herself as an urban advice columnist. She agreed to weigh in on the issue and provide her $.02. The following is a guest article from her.
I’m an old broad. I have to preface this with that…so what I say makes sense to you. I’m old.
When I was a young lass, the length of time it took for a sista to give up the goods was laid out as a perfect roadmap in my head. He’ll be my boyfriend, then we’ll work our way around the bases, and then we’ll do it. Right.
As an old biddie…the roadmap has changed. Actually, we’ve scraped the roadmap. Trashed. Should I have started this post with I am old, but not slutacious? I’m not. I’m no rookie, but def not the MVP in this game either.
What I have realized in the almost 10-years since I lost my virginity is the fact that, the act of getting it on…is directly linked to two things…maturity and libido. Let me explain. It takes a mature person to address how they want to handle one of their more basic needs. One should never end up horizontal/vertical/diagonal without being clear on what their expectations for the encounter. As well as the expectations of the other party involved.
Realistic expectations…
Ladies, if he didn’t want to be your boyfriend before you laid down, unless your kat has magical powers, there is nothing that is going to make him want to be your boyfriend immediately following.
You have to know what sex means to you. You also have to know what sex doesn’t mean. You could wait 3 minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years….but if you’re not clear…time doesn’t even really matter.
Bisou,
